Tuesday, October 10, 2006

E-Coli Outbreak- A conspiracy?

I think it is. I think it's a conspiracy by the fast food industry. Here's why:

Today I went to get my lunch at the salad bar at my university. It usually looks pretty fresh and they always have bacon bits so I am excited. I fill my bowl with lettuce and cucumber and broccoli and all of the rest of the veggie crap that goes in salads. I top it off with the aforementioned bacon bits and sparingly add some vinaigrette dressing. You know, keeping it healthy-ish.

Then I walk to the counter to pay. My salad costs about $4.50. I pay the lady, leave, and walk down to the law school student lounge to eat it.

I sit down next to my friend and start eating my salad. I get about two bites in when news reports start flashing through my mind. Spinach. E-coli. Fresh lettuce. New threats in new lettuce. People are dying from salad.

I look down at my salad, trying to see if I can see E-coli in there somewhere. Shit. You can't see E-coli. I try other methods of testing to see if my salad is tainted. I put the lid back in and shake the salad up, testing to see how well the dressing sticks to the lettuce. That may give me some answers. Except that I don't remember ever shaking my salad to see how well the dressing sticks before, so I have no basis for comparison. And of course I smell the salad. Again, not knowing what E-Coli smells like.

I decide to just get over it, and eat the freakin salad. I bought it, and it's certainly not tainted with E-Coli. I open the lid back up and get ready to take a bite. But once you start thinking E-Coli, it's kind of hard to put that fear to rest. So I threw my brand new salad away.

So long story short, here's the conspiracy: I am now eating an Arby's crispy chicken sandwich with bacon and an order of fries. For health reasons.

1 comment:

dixie said...

i think only old people and babies get e. coli, i think you wasted a perfectly good salad.