Tuesday, November 14, 2006

To the Girl in Front of Me in the McDonald's Line

Bitch, it’s McDonald's. It’s Mc FUCKING Donald's. We all know what we want to order. The menu hasn’t changed in 5,00000 years. We ALL order the same thing we’ve always ordered. It’s common knowledge that people don’t deviate at Mickey D’s. What’s with the hold up?
All I needed was a fucking Diet Coke, and I’m stuck behind you? How unfair is that? There aren’t that many possibilities on that menu to choose from! What’s with the ENDLESS contemplation? Or did the re-introduction of the McRib render you too stupefied to place your order in under 4 minutes? We are talking about McDonalds. What’s the worst that could happen if you misspeak to the woman taking your order at McDonalds? You could end up with a cheeseburger and fries? AS OPPOSED TO THE CHEESEBURGER AND FRIES YOU ORDERED? Personally, I think you took your time because you knew I was standing behind you. And furthermore, you could probably tell I was in a hurry and in a horrible mood. And you just felt the need, (as people who are unattractive tend to do), to make my day worse. Well, fuck you. I am onto your scam. You don’t want my day to get better, because you think that my life is so much easier than yours because I’m not as ugly as you are, so you intentionally take a long time ordering your quarter pounder. And you think that you have in some way one-upped me? Not likely, Bitch. You’re still ugly.

I hope this post doesn't make me sound impatient, angry, paranoid and shallow even though I am impatient, angry, paranoid and shallow.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you sure like to swear a lot.
Next time, pour some cold water down her back ... maybe it will allow her to speed things up faster.

Or, just grab some ketchup - squirt her in the face, call her Bloody Marry and laugh ... maybe she will get out of your way.

BTW .. so sad to hear about your friend and his Heroin O.D. I hope you get the answers you are looking for.