Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Dear Ex,

It's been such a long time since I've spoken to you. Literally it's been maybe 8 years. I've been thinking about you alot lately. I tend to think about you alot when I'm feeling insecure about something. Like right now, I'm insecure about my future employment. I think I do this because now you're wildly successful. I wonder if you ever think about how well I took care of you back when you weren't so successful. Sometimes I get bitter about you, because I feel like I made you a better person for some other woman. Sometimes that's a little hard to swallow.

I wonder if you're happy. I wonder if you ever miss me. Sometimes I miss you. I was so very in love with you. I wonder if you ever think about how much fun we had together. But you know what I wonder about the most? Why did I keep catching you in the bathroom with half cooked carrots in your rectum? Seriously. What was that about? I always meant to bring it up, but there never seemed to be an appropriate time.

Sincerely,

Grace

3 comments:

The Burton Report - Arizona Cardinals said...

"Why did I keep catching you in the bathroom with half cooked carrots in your rectum? Seriously. What was that about?"

This is another GEM!

revdave said...

seriously classic.

allbilly said...

Is contacting him an option?