Dear Ex,

It's been such a long time since I've spoken to you. Literally it's been maybe 8 years. I've been thinking about you alot lately. I tend to think about you alot when I'm feeling insecure about something. Like right now, I'm insecure about my future employment. I think I do this because now you're wildly successful. I wonder if you ever think about how well I took care of you back when you weren't so successful. Sometimes I get bitter about you, because I feel like I made you a better person for some other woman. Sometimes that's a little hard to swallow.

I wonder if you're happy. I wonder if you ever miss me. Sometimes I miss you. I was so very in love with you. I wonder if you ever think about how much fun we had together. But you know what I wonder about the most? Why did I keep catching you in the bathroom with half cooked carrots in your rectum? Seriously. What was that about? I always meant to bring it up, but there never seemed to be an appropriate time.

Sincerely,

Grace