Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Dear Commercial Paper,

Go FUCK YOURSELF! I mean it. You are just a fancy way of saying check and you're not fooling anyone. I hate you. And, as it turns out, I don't really understand you. You almost made me cry today, you know.

WHO CARES ABOUT YOU??? I know I don't. But I have to care about you. I have to NEED you. Yes, Commercial Paper, I NEED you. My job depends on you. My happiness depends on you. Without you, I could fail the bar exam.

You're like this language I don't understand. An UGLY language. No one even WRITES checks anymore!! You know what happens when someone writes a check in front of me at the grocery store? I imagine what it would be like to shove a pineapple up their ass. That's all checks do. And yet, you are powerful enough to ruin my life. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

Dirty Whore. Yeah, you, Commercial Paper. I'm talking about you. Fuck you.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

so i guess now would not be a good time to ask how the bar review is going? No? K, we'll talk later (rushes out of the room)

Commercial Paper said...

Dear Grace,

You're right. I'm sorry I have wielded my undeserved, weasely power against you. I do purposely create an insanely complicated and unnecessarily confusing language to fuck with people. It is because I have a 2-inch penis, and I need to make broke-ass law student feel stupid to make me feel more like a man. Also, I receive kick-backs from the blood-sucking leeches BARBRI and PMBR. Sorry about your fish.

Love,
Commercial Paper

Justice Moustache said...

Fucking check writers