Tuesday, May 01, 2007

My Attempt at Outdoor Exercise

I'm a gym girl. Not like I go with any regularity, but when I choose to exercise, I like it in a structured atmosphere. But it was a pretty day today, so I decided to go for a jog on the lakefront path. It's pretty and everyone seems all happy to be outside, and I decided I wanted to be one of those people. So I did it.

I had what I thought was a pretty good plan. Although the lake is within walking distance, I don't like to, because you have to walk through a kind of crappy neighborhood, and the guys in that neighborhood always make gross comments to girls walking by. So I decided to drive to the beach, park there, and put my car key in my spandex shorts since I didn't have any pockets. So I go for my little run, and I actually go for about 40 minutes, and it was really lovely. I was really enjoying myself. A slow song comes on, and I figure this is a good time to stop and figure out if I want to keep on going or turn back. I check to make sure I still have my car key.

But it's gone.

Wanna know why?

BECAUSE SPANDEX SHORTS ARE NOT THE SAME THING AS POCKETS. yes. It's true.

So I walk slowly back the path looking for the key, which of course I don't find. Duh!! So I have to walk home anyway in my short little spandex shorts through the crappy area and the very thing I didn't want to happen, happened:

A midget told me I gave him a boner.

Outdoor exercise can go fuck itself.

4 comments:

Kori said...

Ok, a couple of things:
(1) Kori almost peed her pants while reading about Holli & her little spandex shorts
(2) Kori also thinks that Holli is making up this story just to have an excuse for walking through the creepy-midget neighborhood because she enjoys the compliments. Just admit it & save the creativity for something else.

Lilly Valencia said...

Lilly wants to know how much camel toe you were sporting in those spandex. is that why midget man got the boner?

Harmless Error said...

I just snorted coffee. Grace, car keys ALWAYS go on the shoelace. I assume you had a spare key at home?

allbilly said...

no photos?