Saturday, June 16, 2007
The Dog and Me- A Dialogue
Me: Umm. Why do you think it's ok to go into the refrigerator and eat a whole raw filet mignon?
Dog: Umm. Why do you think it's ok to leave the fridge door open for half the night?
Me: I was really looking forward to that steak.
Dog: Too bad Skank, you should've thought of that before you skipped out on the dog park yesterday.
Me: I have to fucking study for the bar. I'm trying to make a better life for you.
Dog: Then why don't you set yourself on fire, Bitch?
Me: You're the BITCH.
Dog: Great comeback, Loser... being a female dog, I didn't see THAT one coming from a mile away.
Me: You should be a little nicer to me. I saved your life yesterday.
Dog: Oh you mean when you hit that car with your bottle of grape Vitamin Water? Yeah, you're the best. So smart. Definitely gonna pass the bar with that huge brain.
Me: I could do without your sarcasm you little inbred piece of shit.
Dog: Quit your whining, go buy a new fucking steak, and go back to studying. You fucking annoy me.
Me: I don't have time to buy a steak. And it doesn't matter anyway. I'm going to a fancy shmancy black tie thing tonight, and they have dinner there.
Dog: Try not to look like a whore.
Me: I'm NOT going to look like a whore. I'm going to look great.
Dog: Oh, are flabby, untoned arms in this season? I had no idea. In that case, you WILL look great.
Me: This conversation is over. You're an asshole.
Dog: One last thing, Tramp: if you get all drunk and bring someone home tonight, you can GUARANTEE I will shit on the kitchen floor.