Saturday, June 02, 2007

How to Talk to Someone Studying for the Bar: A Practical Guide

Grace: I am totally going to fail the bar.

Impermissible Answer: Of course you will, with that attitude.

Permissible Answer: You're a rockstar! You are the smartest person on the planet. You're going to kill the bar.
Grace: I think I smell.

Impermissible Answer: Hmm..Is that you? I wasn't sure.

Permissible Answer: Yeah you smell- like a bucket of fresh cut petunias, Baby.
Grace: I'm hungry

Impermissible Answer: Go eat something!

Permissible Answer: Here's a plate of nachos. Let me know when the cheese gets hard or the chips get soggy and I'll take them away and bring you a filet.
Grace: Is it too early to start drinking?

Impermissible Answer: Have you done nine hours of studying yet today?

Permissible Answer: Glug glug glug (sound of wine being poured into coffee mug)
Grace: I wonder what's on TV.

Impermissible Answer: Probably not America's Next Top Secured Transaction, Loser.

Permissible Answer: I think America's Got Talent starts tonight.
Grace: I totally don't understand Secured Transactions.

Impermissible Answer: I TOLD you to take more UCC courses! (Dean of the law school spewed out this little gem the other day when I ran into her at lunch)

Permissible Answer: You are going to be totally fine! I will totally help you figure this out.
Grace: I'm still hungry.

Impermissible Answer: You just ate!

Permissible Answer: I've brought you a selection. A. White Castle, B. Taco Bell, C. Sushi, D. A cobb salad, and E. All of the above.
Grace: (total silence)

Impermissible Answer: How's the studying?

Permissible Answer: (total silence)


Harmless Error said...

I hope you have someone around to provide the permissible answers. I just had two other bar studiers and my dog, who I'm surprised made it through the summer without severe psychological impairment.

Sarah said...

I'm peeing down my leg right now.

Bar Daze said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Now with 110% more bitter! said...

This is awesome - mind if I link to it?

Grace said...

Go right ahead. Thanks for the compliment. I needed it because I'm clearly going to fail the bar.

Now with 110% more bitter! said...

Well, that makes 2 of us.

xkx said...

and three...
I linked to you too