Friday, July 27, 2007

Seeeee Ya.

I really wanted to write a post about the bar, and how I felt about it, etc... but I ran out of time and sobriety. I'm on my way to a much needed vacation with Lilly, Kori, Misti, and another who shall remain nameless until she acquires her very own porn name.

There's internet where we're going. I might post. But I may not be able to operate a keyboard.

Either way... I'll be back soon.

BY THE WAY, Congrats to all the California Bar takers. Fuck those fuckers for making you do 3 days. But you did it. And I bet you all kicked ass. Especially Ms. E.B., and Ms. P.P.

To the Person Who Put This Note on My Windshield Today

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you. I woke up, went outside, saw the THREE MOTHER FUCKING parking tickets on my car, and completely avoided them, not knowing, not caring what I did wrong. Then, I saw your note. And it made me change my whole way of looking at the world. I am now going to examine the error of my parking ways. If it weren't for your note, who knows what tragic parking disasters could have occured in the future. You are really a goddamn mother fucking genius.

Now go fuck yourself with plastic sporks.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Dear Everyone Taking the Bar,

I want to wish everyone who is reading this good luck. We've all (mostly) worked really hard to get here, and we'll all (mostly) be fine.

Personally, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I feel like everyone around me knows more than me. But then they turn around and say that they are feeling the exact same way.

I've made a decision on how I'm choosing to think about these next few days, though. I've heard from lots of people, that these are going to be the two worst days of my life. Without having actually taken the bar, I can't be sure, but I'm going to go ahead and respectfully disagree. I think I've had worse. I've also heard that this is the hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do. Again, without having taken the bar, I am going to disagree.

There is no way this can be true. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but my parents are both alive. One day, they won't be. Dealing with that is going to be way harder than the bar exam. I've had to sit across the table from my fiance and tell him I didn't want to marry him. That was pretty tough. I'd rather take the bar than do that again. I've had to listen to someone I was in love with tell me they no longer loved me back. I'd rather take the bar 10 times than do that again. There was this guy. Bar exam wins. I've been the victim of a pretty bad crime. Sorry, but the bar exam MUST be better than that.

Don't get me wrong, the bar exam is going to SUCK. and I am going to give it the respect it deserves. However, it deserves no more respect than any other loss, grief, fear, anger,panic or heartbreak that I, or any of us, have ever already experienced. And survived. For my own sanity, this is the way I'm thinking about it. The bar exam is just another fucking hurdle. No biggie. And Wednesday, it will all be over.

So now, I'm going to quit rambling. I'm going to go do a few more hours of studying, then I'm going to pack a bag and head downtown. I'm going to meet Ms. Kori Amsterdam, we're going to check into a hotel, check out our test sites, and then go eat a nice dinner. Then we're going back to the hotel, going to watch some Will & Grace, and go to bed.

Then tomorrow morning, I'm going to go over to my testing site, and give the Illinois Bar Exam the hate fuck it so rightfully has earned.

Once again good luck to everyone. See you on the other side.



Sunday, July 22, 2007

If anyone happens to be reading this blog...

feel free to leave a comment explaining interpleader to me. I don't think I understand it. I'm a fucktard, I know.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Federal Jurisdiction, Secured Transactions, Sushi, and Me

So, I decided to take myself to dinner, and I brought along Federal Jurisdiction and Secured Transactions to study. That didn't happen. I had some Sake. Here's what went down.

In case you can't read that, it says "I want to cry. Right here in the sushi restaurant"
From this point on, I was pretty sure nothing was going to get accompished at the resturant. I decided I needed an artistic outlet.

This is Tuna on top of my example of what a typical Secured Transaction looks like.

This is Shrimp on top of my answer on a Secured Transactions Essay.

This is Fresh Water Eel on the Secured Transactions model essay answer.

This is Salmon Roe on top of Federal Jurisdiction.

My name spelled out in soy sauce using chopsticks as my writing utensil.

My writing utensil- a Cross pen given to me by my father, in my soy sauce.

I don't know what else there is to say at this point.

Conversation With My Mom

Me: Hi. I'm freaking out. Can we have a conversation about something non-bar related?

Mom: OK. I think I have shingles.


To Kori- exactly one month later

To the Twins- exactly one day later

And to Lilly- exactly today. So sorry the bar exam is keeping us from the bubbly and each other. Just another reason my heart is filled with loathing.

I love you all

(Pictures from Kori and Lilly's respective birthdays. I don't know what the twins did for their birthdays, but I'm fairly sure any pictures wouldnt be publishable!)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

I Am Not a Good Person

So, they're recalling like a million of Hasbro's EZ Bake Ovens. They're doing it because little childrens hands are getting caught in them. So I have this image of some poor little girl walking into civil court with EZ Bake ovens singed onto her hands like little electric, burning mitts. And what do I do? I laugh.

I guess I'm kind of a bitch.

Favorite Line from an MBE Practice Question

"He overheard Dick Tell Charlie, "This was probably all our fault; we shouldn't have been on 'ludes and snow""

'Ludes and snow, Man. 'Ludes and snow.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dear Everyone Taking the Bar,

Put down your PMBR books for 1 minute and read this.

I know everyone is giving bar exam advice right now, but I am choosing to listen to this girl for 3 reasons. 1. She's really really smart. 2. She passed the bar. And 3. I hung out with her the summer she took the bar, and she wasn't all freaky about everything. She studied hard, but she managed to have a really fun summer, too.

Oh, and then read everything else she writes.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Dog and Me- A Dialogue Part II

Dog: Wakey! Wakey! At exactly this time next week, you're going to be more fucked than you've ever been in your entire life.

Me: Remember when you used to wake me up with kisses?

Dog: Remember when you used to share your egg rolls with me, Bitch?

Me: What should I study first, Federal jurisdiction or Wills?

Dog: Whichever will bring you to the brink of suicide quicker.

Me: Why are you always like this when I need you to be supportive?

Dog: Don't blame your poor life choices on me, Asshole. I didn't make you go to law school.

Me: Fine. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just going to go in the other room and study Wills.

Dog: Good idea, Loser.

Me: Um. What's that on the comforter?

Dog: It's a little vomit. I had a hard night last night. Wanna get into it? Just clean it up, and shut the fuck up.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Dear Explanation to Answer # 45 on the Practice MBE

Thank you very much for a decent description on why "B" was correct.

You then went on to give the reasons why "A" was wrong. Then, a very polite reason why "D" was wrong. And then you say this:

"C" is obviously wrong.

I hate to be redundant, Explanation to Answer #45, but fuck you! OBVIOSULY wasn't so OBVIOUS to me. I could deal without the attitude. Go fuck yourself with a champagne flute, Explanation to Answer #45.


PS. not to be outdone by the Namby Pamby J.D., artwork courtesy of Lilly, drawn on the back of my Criminal Law Outline

Thursday, July 12, 2007

12 Days Left

So, I have so much to say. But actually nothing that's particularly interesting. I tried to figure out what would make the bar exam less stressful, less demanding. I tried to figure out a way to stay calm, and centered and less anxious. So I figured I'd move into a new condo over the 4th of July holiday. Because moving is ALWAYS A RELAXING AND EASY ACTIVITY AND IT NEVER TAKES MORE THAN A COUPLE OF HOURS TO GET IT ALL DONE.

Actually, I didn't really have much of a choice. The condo that I had originally contracted for had fallen through, and then all of a sudden, it UN-fell through, but I had to move, like immediately. I got it done though, and it's actually much easier to focus in the new place. And I can sit in my jacuzzi tub and do evidence and property flashcards. And I can drink water with my choice of crushed or cubed ice. And YES. I live directly above a liquor store. I am supposed to have internet already, but I keep on getting fucked over by the person who is supposed to make it happen. I was trying to wait it out, because it's actually easier to NOT have the distraction. But I broke down today and hit the internet cafe. Here's what I find out: Nicole Richie STILL may or may not be pregnant, and Lindsay Lohan is NOT a lesbian. Fuck. Seems like such a waste of internet cafe time. I've learned nothing.

I totally verbally attacked a total stranger yesterday. He (who seemed like kind of a douchebag) was arguing with a woman about a parking space in the Whole Foods parking lot. I was completely uninvolved. I walked up to him and this is what happened:

Me: Are you REALLY going to waste your day arguing over a parking spot?

Dude: Are you REALLY getting involved?

Me: Fuck you, Loser.

Seriously. I did that. What's wrong with me? I'm blaming it on the bar exam.

Bar Exam Definition of the Day: A Holder in Due Course ("HDC") is a Holder who takes for value and goes and sucks his own dick.