Thursday, August 16, 2007

Conversations With Exes

Ex #1: I know this doesn't sound very nice, but ever since we broke up, I've been SO HAPPY! I just feel BLESSED!

Grace: Um. That's awesome. I'm so happy for you. You...deserve it.

Ex #1: So what's going on with you? Are you dating? There must be SOMEthing exciting going on in your life.

Grace: Well, a generic version of Ambien just hit the market. And um... my new fish Beth hasn't died.

Ex #1: We need to find someone for you. I'm going to set you up with someone.

Grace: Well, you better tell them I'm taking Alli, that FDA approved weight loss drug.

Ex #1: You shouldn't take that. You don't need to lose weight. Besides that shit gives you oily gas.

Grace: Precisely why it needs to be disclosed.

Ex #1 Maybe you're not ready to be fixed up.

-----------
Ex #2: Happy Anniversary!

Grace: Thanks, Sweetie. But I think once you're married to someone else, we're supposed to stop celebrating our anniversary. It might bother your wife.

1 comment:

Harmless Error said...

Generic ambien?!?! Must go to drug store now.