Monday, September 24, 2007

Loud Talker on the BROWN line #1

Yes, I am no longer taking the red line. I'm all about the Brown Line now. It's nicer. Cleaner. Quieter. I was actually a little worried that I would never be able to post another loud talker. But I had no reason to fear.

Meet Davis! I don't know if his name is really Davis, but I'm calling him Davis, because Davis is a freelance journalist and i think freelance journalists should have first names that are last names. So meet Davis, the FREELANCE JOURNALIST!

Davis likes to play with his balls a lot when talking with his colleagues on public transportation.

Davis works for a medium size Chicago publication. He's been there for 5 years and had 5 different titles in those 5 years.

Davis doesn't really like the way his boss talks about Laura, who's a "good little journalist"

Laura really should get an entertainment column regularly, and the boss shouldn't tell her what to do so much. She did write for the Wall Street Journal, after all. She's been talking a lot about doing a fashion column, too. (I think Davis wants to get it on with Laura.)

It's not as oppressive as it was in Denver. Denver was tough, Man. Thank god Davis doesn't have to write for financial anymore. Or be in Denver.

Davis thinks magazine headlines have gotten so trite. (Davis has worked as a writer for at least 5 years, and just now is realizing this?)

Again, Davis REALLY enjoys his own testicles.

By the way, Davis is the one on the right.


Harmless Error said...

I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I don't live in a city with an elevated train. The day they wire the NYC subway tunnels is the day the five boroughs will erupt in riots.

Anonymous said...

I bet you wanted him to pound you right then and there.

Army Girl said...

Thanks for mentioning man parts twice in the same posting. I wonder if your bf in Congress plays with his balls under the table.

Jane Know said...

haha! your next article should be "The Spatially Unaware." (which is usually men and little kids).

Grace said...

Harmless- yes. I can't imagine how ugly that would get! Oh, and if I ever make it to NY, we are on for coffee, and by coffee, I also mean booze!

Anonymous- really dude. You need to work on the witty quips. I mean, go ahead and stick with the "I wanted to have sex with him" theme, if you must. But be clever. Here's a helpful hint... I mentioned his nuts TWO TIMES. Use that. Think teabag or something. Geez.

Armygirl- my man in congress could get me to do that job for him. Oh. did I just say that? I just grossed myself out.

Jane- Uh YEAH. And speaking of spatially unaware, why is it people seem so confused when they step off of an elevator? It takes them like 1/2 a minute to realize that the very task they asked the elevator to do, AS IN TAKE THEM TO A DIFFERENT FLOOR, actually did it. Half of the people look like they just got dropped off in the land of Oz. Or maybe that's just government buildings.

Army Girl said...

Gross...Army term of the day - "dick beaters"

Anonymous said...

It's so nice to see the the folks on the Brown Line have even less class than those on the Red Line. Ball scratching yuppy. Ugh.

Now with 110% more bitter! said...

I'm pretty sure I'd do Davis - actually, I have no standards, so I would do him. Make a mental note to tell him that I can take care of all of his ball problems the next time you're on the brown line.

Rachel said...

i'm a huge fan of loud talker's cousin, PUBLIC RING-TONE TESTER. she's my favorite! wich will it be?! the mario brothers song?! golddigger?!! some alien spaceship bleep?!!! WHICH IS IT?! I'M ON THE EDGE ON MY SEAT!!!! said...

LOL what a post... great stuff

Anonymous said...

I just spit out a carrot when I read that..hilarious..