Sunday, December 16, 2007

Dear 72.94.142 from Allentown, PA,

Hey there!!! You're one of the anonymous lurkers who leaves threatening/insulting/creepy messages on my blog. I'm sure you're not the only one, but you're one of the best!!!! Yay, you!

But wait. It's not just me, is it? No.

It's her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her. And her.

And tons of others. You're a very busy little guy, aren't you? Now, of course I don't give you credit for ALL of the disgusting and threatening comments made on blogs, but you are definitely doing your fair share.

Because you read my blog EVERY DAY, I'm certain you know that I personally know many of the female lawyers who you also harass and threaten. Well, on occasion, the subject of the anonymous person who wishes to "take a dump on my chest to 'fiz' my problems" among other things, comes up over drinks.

There are two things we always agree on:

1. We don't understand why someone who is clearly as stupid as you are would ever be interested in the lives of female attorneys, which, as you know, most of us are.

2. You REALLY need attention.

Well, I don't think we'll ever know the answer to #1, unless I address issue #2, and give you some attention. In the spirit of enlightenment, I present you with an invitation:

72.94.142 from Allentown, PA-


When: This is an open invitation. Whenever you get up the courage.

Where: Here. Duh. Just email me your post at I won't change a single word of it.

What: Anything you want to write about. girls, lawyers, high school, dungeons and dragons, work, whatever you want.

Rules: Very simple...

1. No linking to outside websites.

2. No revealing real identities of bloggers that you might happen to know.

3. You must answer this simple question: What is it about our blogs that compels you to leave the comments that you leave?

So there you go. you have your forum. Let's see what you can come up with.

Warmest Regards,


PS. If you choose to decline my invitation, consider this a formal request to stay the fuck off my blog, and to get a fucking life.

PPS. This offer is open to any other anonymous commenters. All you have to do is email me and take credit for one of the harassing comments on one of the aforementioned blogs, and we're in business.

PPPS. Lest you think I'm an idiot, please know that I am not holding my breath. You are much too big of a coward to take me up on my invitation.


Elle Woods said...

I really liked when he misread my posts and decided based on that I'm a whore. I'm also an idiot according to him. Like I needed someone else to tell me that, I had law professors doing it twice yearly for 3 years.

Fannie said...


Miss Foxy said...

The freak said he found nothing "offensive" about my blog. I'm tempted to start writing something "offensive" just to get a rise out of him.

Anonymous said...

My Haiku to the anonymous commenter:

He left a comment
with no name so i'd know him the
anonymous ass

vcugirl said...

eww, how creepy. I think you have a great proposal for him on here.

Legal Bachelor said...


Daisy Duke said...

Brills. I owe you a drink.

Jane Know said...

Awesome. I would LOVE to see if this fuckwad can think for himself. But we already know the answer to that. He's probably scared shitless that some sweet female attorneys are gonna come after him now.

Counsellor in Cultivation said...

so GLAD to see i'm not the only one. thanks for standing up for all of us!

Red said...

So I got one from "jeff" -- I don't have any way of tracking URL or anything, but I'd be shocked if it wasn't the same guy.

Fannie said...

What?? No reply from the fuckwad?

*Truly shocking*

Jane Know said...

*crickets chirping*

Troll #1 said...

I'm very busy doing job applications and with the holidays and all, but I will consider doing the post at some point. I'm stupid? Seriously, Grace, you're smarter than that. What's really stupid? Writing an online diary filled with profanity and/or explicit sex talk and/or talk about drugs and binge drinking (you know who you are). It is NOT hard to find out info on who people are. I am responsible for some of those comments you showed but not most. When I do comment, it is my opinion based on what I saw. If you don't like it, then too bad. If I called someone a skank or a slut, she probably IS one. I'm not going anywhere. Happy holidays.

Elle Woods said...

-"When I do comment, it is my opinion based on what I saw."

What you saw? Where? In person? Because it's just not possible that you went to law school with all of us.

-"If I called someone a skank or a slut, she probably IS one."

I'd really like to know how one gets the power to decide who is a skank/slut and who isn't. For instance, at my school the CLS Bitches(Christian Legal Society) sucked 1/2 the dicks in our class, but they were not looked at as sluts. Yet a girl could date 2 guys for an extended time, sleep with them, and be deamed a slut. I'm pretty sure Jesus would rather you fuck one guy than suck 40 dicks. But like I said, I'm not an expert.

Anonymous said...

I just found this place and I almost didn't want to leave this comment because I don't want you to think I'm your lurker.

Not my style, trust me.

Jane Know said...

Troll #1, seriously? are you really fucking serious?

*collecting myself for a moment*

You have the audacity to sit back and judge these women for being what you deem "skanky" or "slutty?" on their blogs? I would LOVE to hear why they are being held to your boring moral standards. Why do they have to?

Hey, little man, if it makes you feel better to call women you don't know sluts via the internet because you're so pent up and sexually frustrated yourself, by all means, be my guest. But you have to also deal with the consequences of your actions.

You're the one leaving anonymous creepy messages...not the other way around. I'd remember that if I were you while you sit there on your high-horse judging people you don't know at all.

Good luck with the job search, buddy. Oh, and Merry fucking Christmas. (because I am positive you are a "Christian")

Elle Woods said...

Jane raises one of my favorite issues. Why is it that Christians feel compelled to use their religion as a substitute for morals which they inflict upon others, yet they routinely forget the "love thy neighbor" passage, or any passage regarding regarding judgment not being for mortals?

Sorry I can't quote anything directly. I'm not really interested in looking anything of that nature up, but I know it's there.

Mia said...

Oh sweet Jesus and all that is pure and holy, I just stumbled across your blog and was going to lurk for a while before I let myself be known but seeing your response to people who you don't know... HI, I'm Mia. I have no inclination to call anyone whores, sluts or hoebags (promise), and your wrath is intimidating and exciting all at the same time.

O, online controversy and internet asshats, they do make for some interesting posts.

Daisy Duke said...


Lets go have some drinks, get hopped up and make some bad decisions. Because clearly that is all we are capable of doing. We could host a "Bloggers Who Are Whores" weekend in the Big City and blog about our sex/drugs/profanity filled lives. Maybe Jack/John/Jeff/Troll # 1 could then come save us all and take us under his wing.

Fannie said...


"I'm very busy doing job applications"

We understand, it's probably tricky for one to successfully "do" job applications when Renaissance Fairs are out of season. Keep perusing Craigslist and I'm sure something will come along.

That you are unemployed is very *shocking*, considering your use of stellar logic such as:

"If I called someone a skank or a slut, she probably IS one."

Using that line of reasoning can I just say this: If I call someone a judgmental small-dick coward who doesn't get laid, he probably IS one.

Happy Holidays :-)

Jane Know said...

"We understand, it's probably tricky for one to successfully "do" job applications when Renaissance Fairs are out of season."

ha ha ha *snort*

I hear there are job openings in the Dungeons and Dragons realm, however. I understand demand is higher in the winter/holiday season. Or perhaps your local hotel is hosting the next Star Wars convention...maybe you could hand out refreshments in your Luke Skywalker costume.

Grace said...

Dear Troll #1,

Welcome back! I'm going to leave up your comment. Because it's funny. But I'll probably remove any further ones until you answer this question: What is it about our blogs that compels you to leave the comments that you leave?

It's not that hard of a question, is it? You're really super smart, right?

Well, anyone super smart would understand that this blog is for entertainment purposes only. Sure someone could find out who I really am. It's really not that hard. In fact, a lot of people do know who I really am. In fact, last year in law school, someone came up to me and said "Hi Grace!" thinking that was my real name.

Here's the thing. No one really cares who I really am because I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not defaming anyone. I'm not committing any crimes, I'm not talking smack or gossiping about co-workers. In fact, the last time I mentioned my job, was months ago when I found out that I was hired.

Just to be on the safe side, however, I want to address your insinuation that I use illegal drugs. That COULD NOT be further from the truth. If you knew me or any of my friends personally, you would know how adamently anti-drug I am.

Legal drugs that are prescribed? Yes. Alcohol? Delicious. Anything illegal. Nope.

So fuck you.

As far as the other female bloggers who you harass and their drug use? Not my problem and not my business, but I'm pretty sure you're barking up the wrong tree with this crowd.

So it comes down to this: Who cares if I swear? No one. Who cares if I talk explicitly about sex? (Which I don't really think I do, does anyone else?) No one. And if you're honest with yourself, Troll #1, you don't even care, do you?

You don't know us. Our lives don't intersect. They likely never will, except maybe in a courthouse where any of us will wipe the floor with your ass. But who are we kidding? You'll never make it to a courthouse. Unless as a defendant. In a stalking case.

I write this blog because I enjoy it. I'm not going to let you, or any other stupid little troll rob me of my voice, as inappropriate as you may find that voice to be.

If you don't like what I have to say, just go away.

good luck with the job thing. A little tip? Try not to be you.


Troll #1 said...

Interesting. Well I have to be able to take some bashing if I give it out, so I won't be critical of any of you for insulting me. Again, I have to say that I am NOT responsible for all of the harassment, only some of it. I have called women skanks and sluts, and I have left stupid comments on Grace's blog. Why? Well, to be honest, the blog is kind of interesting, and I can be immature. Grace, I never meant to really make you angry. I do like to rile people up a little but only because I think you're surely tough enough for it. I never expect any comments to really make someone mad. I'm like a kid who acts out for attention. Again, I'm far from perfect. But I don't mean anything to be malicious.

I'm sure all of you would like to think I am some evil or deformed person, but truthfully I'm surprisingly normal. I have an education from a pretty good school. And my anatomy is not small.

Grace, I never meant that YOU do or endorse drugs. That comment was aimed at one particular blogger who has spoken about it frequently, and I do remember you knowing someone who had died of an overdose. So I apologize about that. And Elle, I do agree that someone who calls herself a good girl but sucks lots of dicks is WORSE than a girl who fucks guys but doesn't act fake about it. But, if a blogger claims to be in law school to find a husband, and she freely admits getting fucked by guys she barely knows and she seems to have no feminine side at all, I might question how well her search will be. And if you have no idea how many guys you've been with at only 22, you ARE probably slutty. These are just two examples I've seen.

Again, Grace, I don't have any problem with YOUR blog specifically. I actually see you as a girl who's probably fun to hang out and drink with. And definitely tough. So yes, I kind of liked seeing you riled up. But I don't want to be a bad person. So I will refrain from leaving stuff on your blog in the future if that would make you happy. Good day.

Troll #1 said...

By the way, the example of the blogger looking for a husband is "Legal Spanking". Again, nothing I said was meant to be malicious, even though I do have a point of view. And some of the comments shown are NOT mine, so I only take responsibility for what I wrote. I guess you could say this all is like doing Grace's guest post, because I've certainly wrote a lot.

Elle Woods said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elle Woods said...

Apparently someone (possibly Troll #1) who reads my blog thinks that I had not idea how many guys I'd slept with at 22 (I'm not sure if that was the example Troll #1 was referring to, but I got an email about it). I would like to go on record as saying I do know how many guys I've slept with. I wrote something vague, mocking telling guys your "number".

I'm not trying to "justify" myself here, I'm just trying to communicate that sometimes I think we all stretch the details in the name of humor, since we try to bring a little levity to our occasionally depressing lives. So to judge someone's entire character based on what we write is really unfair.

You want to use these comments to show us how you really aren't a "bad" guy (you just demean women), yet you can't apply that same logic to the idea that maybe we aren't exactly how we come across on our blogs either.

Lastly, even if a few of us do "get around" a bit who cares? What are the chances you are going to meet us and (be lucky) enough to fuck us? Zero. The reality for educated women a lot of times is that relationships do not last based on a variety of reasons ranging from schedules to "not tolerating bullshit". Does that mean we should have to be celibate? I don't think so.

Sorry for the parallel post here Grace, maybe you should have just invited me to be a guest blogger.

Army Girl said...

My two cents:

Troll: It's nice you sort of apologized and said you didn't mean to be malicious. But then you turned around and did it again by stating someone is probably slutty. Your thought process about judging women still needs serious work. I find it disturbing that you are calling ANYONE a slut, slutty or a skank. If you meant what you said about being malicious, why would you continue to insult others?

Let's talk about Grace and drugs...I tried to get her to take every illegal drug known to man while I worked for DOJ and had access to the government stash. She wouldn't do it.

Grace: I care if you talk about explicit sex. Do it more!! And I find it sexy, hot when you throw around the trashy, explicit words with that sweet voice of yours.

Jane Know said...

Does anyone else think the Troll's comments are pathetic?

Really, everyone, he DOES have a big peepee. And he IS a normal person.

He just likes to call women sluts and skanks because, well, they are...

David A said...

Wow, I haven't seen this many comments since Grace passed the bar. I think, Grace, that you are five comments short of tying that record, and six short of breaking it.

This has been a busy week in law land (despite the cursed holidays), so I haven't had a chance to digest all the barbs tossed back and forth between the warring factions. If we can't get along over Grace, what can we expect of the Israelis and Palestinians?

But without even reading all the words of hate passed back and forth, I have two observations.

First, if is scary to think that people are out targeting people they don't even know, and have such hatred for them. I'm a guy, so I don't have all the concerns for my safety that Grace does, but I gotta tell you folks, when I get a letter from a pro se plaintiff about how he's gonna "get me," I wish my office building had the kind of security that buildings in Charlotte, N.C. have. "You don't have a reason to be here? You don't have an appointment? Get out!"

Second, I am concerned that Grace has drawn the proverbial line in the sand (sorry, Grace), and for whatever reason, the creeps are honoring it. Guys! If you stop reading and commenting on Grace's blog, SHE WILL HAVE NOTHING TO READ, AND THEREFORE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT. Please, for the love of all that is good and decent in this world, you must not let that happen!

Troll #1 said...

Elle - I understand your point. I don't think people should never have sex, but I do think they should be smart about it. Know who you're screwing, basically. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl who sleeps around randomly. As far as a girl being "slutty" - it's a description that I use when it seems to be accurate.

David - she wrote about plenty before I ever saw the blog, right? I definitely agree physical threats are over the line. Grace is definitely one of a kind. I'm not sure if that's good or bad, or both.

Jane Know said...

troll #1 said, "I don't think people should never have sex, but I do think they should be smart about it. Know who you're screwing, basically. No guy wants to be in a relationship with a girl who sleeps around randomly."

Luckily for you, you probably know where your hand has been.

obsquatch said...

Jane, I know my hands like the back of my random fuck buddy.