Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Loud Talker on the Red Line #7

OK. I sorta thought that maybe I'd grown past these sort of posts. That maybe my blog should be slightly more dignified or something like that. Ok. Actually that never crossed my mind. However, I did start to think the Loud Talker posts were a thing of the past. Like, maybe it was too mean.

Or maybe not.

Meet Kristine. I named her Kristine after a girl I went to high school with, who annoyed me almost as much.

Kristine is talking to Friend. Kristine is nursing a broken heart. Very loudly. On public transportation.

Kristine is very happy to have Friend. She thanks Friend for being her girlfriend, although she knows that sounds weird and "lesbianic" (lesbianic? Lesbionic? Les BIONIC? The Les bionic Woman? Sidekick to the Leftist Gender Warrior? This is how great action movie plot ideas are hatched, my friends...)

Kristine asks Friend if she's ever dated any musicians, or actors. She informs Friend that it's very very difficult.

She marvels at some other guy and his desire to be a stockbroker. Why couldn't Kristine's boyfriend want to be a stock broker, she whines.

Kristine is very glad she has her family. (at which point she gets teary, and I almost feel sorry for her, and try to stop listening.)

Kristine asked if Friend borrowed a book from her without asking. She thinks the author's name is Cooper.

Kristine told friend, "it's not what he did. It's what he didn't do. Does that make sense?" (at which point I pull out my camera phone and snap her picture.)

Kristine tells friend, "Oh, no! He would do THAT!" gigglegiggle-coupled-with-fake-coy-glance-around-the train-to-let everyone-know-she's-talking-about-sex-because-even-annoying-girls-can-get-oral-sometimes.

Kristine is having dinner with Amy and Michael tomorrow, and she KNOWS they'll have some insight.
Hopefully Amy and Michael will teach her to shut the fuck up on the Red Line.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Soundtrack to my Life

VCU Girl brought up an interesting idea. VCU Girl is also on my shit list because she just sang the theme song to me and I can't fucking get it out of my head.

Anyway, back to VCU Girl's interesting idea. What would the soundtrack to my life be? So I decided I'd try to come up with exactly what that would be.

I tried to keep the songs in order, much like they would be on a soundtrack to a movie. Keep in mind, these aren't necessarily songs I like. In fact, in some circumstances, they might be songs I absolutely hate, but perhaps someone I loved loved the band, and couldn't help being a collegiate conformist douchebag. In other cases, it might be a song that was on the radio at a memorable time in my life. Or perhaps it's a song that I sang loudly and drunkenly with a group of beloved girlfriends every single night for an entire summer.

It's not necessarily a soundtrack anyone would ever want to buy, but nonetheless, it's mine.

Also, I obviously could probably have made it a longer list, but then, soundtracks have limits.

1. Toreador Song from Bizet's Carmen
2. High Flying Adored from Evita by Andrew Lloyd Weber
3. I Love Rock & Roll- Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
4. Tapestry- Carole King
5. Not Getting Married- from the Sondheim Musical, Company.
6. Galileo- Indigo Girls
7. Satellite- Dave Matthews Band
8. St. Stephen- Grateful Dead
9. Solsbury Hill- Peter Gabriel
10. Billy Jean- Michael Jackson
11. Get Out The Map- Indigo Girls
12. No Frontiers -Mary Black
13. A Long December- Counting Crows
14. Nobody's Side- From the musical Chess
15. Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
16. Defying Gravity- from the musical Wicked
17. What Are You Doing the Rest of Your Life? Rosemary Clooney
18. Blue Eyes- Cary Brothers

I call meme. Get to it.

HOCKEY! It's so awesome that I...


can't stay awake to finish that thought.

It's a good thing Detroit is winning though. I mean, the Stanley Cup is all about whoever says the most retarded things in front of a microphone wins, right?

"I love to score goals," Mikael Samuelsson said. Apparently Samuelson plays for the Detroit team some call "The Redwings."

Do any hockey players dislike the scoring of goals by their own team?

Thus, "The Redwings" are up 1-0.

Eddie. Wayward Esquire: I tried. Really. I did.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

WOAH. Wait. Wendy...

is short for GWENDOLYN??

Is this common knowledge? I mean, it makes sense. But I had no idea. It's just this kind of shit that makes me feel like such an idiot. Seriously. Does everyone know this?

I'm floored.

Monday, May 19, 2008


I lost a case today. Well. Sorta. I can't go into it.

I have something going on that I really wish I could blog about. But I can't. At least not for about 9 more weeks. Then I still don't know if I can or will. But for those of you who know me, IT might be over soon.

I can't really talk about my personal social life either. Mostly because I don't really have one. However, I can say this: More than two people have told me in the last 5 days that I am "difficult to be in a relationship with." weird, huh? don't i seem TOTALLY easy to get along with?

I have nothing to say, and I wish I had the energy to write my post on why I hate the HRC, because I really do, but I'm a little tired, and there's a good possibility I drank too much tonight. But the HRC does really suck. Like, alot.

Big congrats to Daisy and A-Hottie. Who graduated from law school yesterday.

Which reminds me of another post that I am looking forward to writing. It's about lawyers having our own official holiday. It will be called "Don't Shank a Puppy Day" I'll explain at a later date.

Oh! Thanks for all the book suggestions. I'm going with The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay and Possible Side Effects, suggestions courtesy of Hellafied and Jane Know, respectively.

I'll follow those two up with Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea, Blind Fall and Kafka on the Shore. Oh, and the one with a Scott Rose based character. Oh, what the Scott Rose chapter would look like in MY book!!!!

The rest of the books on the list, I think I've read. All good choices, though.

My sister is making me go see Kenny Loggins with her.

That's really all I got.

Except, that I think it's really really cool when people write me and tell me to write something because they miss reading my blog. so, uh., sorry you're stuck with this post!

VCUGirl, you're so sweet that I'm gonna tell ArmyGirl to buy you a present!

Now I'm done.

I'll try to be better/smarter/funnier tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Oh, and also...

I need a new book....

I am taking recommendations.

Just don't recommend Devil in the White City. Because I don't like it.


I'm a little bored.

What I Want in a Life Partner

Nigel Barker + Tone Loc + Courtney Thorne Smith

That's all.

I never get what I want.