I'd say that as a general rule, you shouldn't even experiment with self tanner when sober my friend.
I'd like to add plucking your eyebrows to this list. My mom taught me that. And while we're at it, how about calling/texting your crush or ex to experiment with your frank and expressive side...you know see if it's more successful than your patient, controlled and DIGNIFIED side. Both of these thing are things you don't want to try to pull off while drunk...i mean, i've heard.
I would like to add self-waxing products. i.e. eye-brow wax. And self-hair dying products.
And for those of us who needed a little help with the definition of "manscaping"...http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Manscaping
It is the scourge of mankind. Or at least mankind's nether region. Keep up the excellent work on the train loud talkers. I've found the Brown Line to be a much richer source of excessively loud douchebags, except when there's Cubs traffic on the Red.
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