Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Grace's How to Guide for Getting Through the Holidays
1. Don't drink too much.
2. Definitely drink enough.
3. If someone starts crying, ignore them. If that doesn't work, ask them if they wouldn't mind getting something out of your car, and then lock them out of the house. Christmas is tough. No cryin
4. Don't call anyone fat.
5. If someone says something mean to someone else, mention to the hostess how good the gravy is. The next time, mention how beautiful the tree looks.
6. If you regularly take an anti-anxiety pill, don't stop cuz it's Christmas.
7. Don't ask the single people about their dating lives.
8. Don't ask your married friends if there are any hot single people at their place of employment in front of their spouse.
9. Don't talk about abortion. For or against it, it's not Christmas Dinner talk.
10. Don't EVERYBODY bring their dogs.
11. DON'T GET CONFUSED AND CALL ME A PUBLIC DEFENDER. YOU WILL GET CUT!
12. Stop buying your grandmother lotion. She has enough.
13. Don't get arrested. No one likes Christmas bond court.
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!