Thursday, July 24, 2008

NuvaRing COMING OUT everywhere!

So, I don't know if anyone else has noticed this, because quite frankly, I don't know if anyone on the planet watches as much TV as I do. And even so, most people have Tivo and don't watch commercials anymore. I actually have Tivo, and am just so used to commercials I forget that I don't have to watch them.

ANYWAY, there's a new commercial out for NuvaRing, which allegedly is this birth control device that you only have to deal with once a month.

So here's the commercial: A bunch of cartoon women are all in matching swimsuits, all doing some sort of synchronized swimming or water ballet nonsense.

All of a sudden, one cartoon girl rips off her swimsuit and reveals a sexy little bikini. She then rips off her swim cap to reveal some seriously sexy cartoon hair. She grabs a drink off of a waiter's tray and saunters over to the jacuzzi.

A few minutes later, another girl breaks from the cartoon pack, shakes out her hair, trades in her boring suit for a hot one, and sidles up to the girl in the jacuzzi. They share some meaningful glances, and there's obviously some serious cartoon chemistry going on.

One by one, more and more girls jump out of the synchronized swimming, sex their cartoon selves up, and jump into the jacuzzi with the other hot cartoon girls. All coupled off, and standing awfully close to each other.

With no cartoon man in sight.

Now, I am sure that NuvaRing is a great product. I am sure that it keeps loads of women from getting pregnant when they don't want to.

All I am saying is that I think the reason these cartoon hotties aren't getting pregnant has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with NuvaRing... uh...you know what I mean?

PS. Is it wrong to be attracted to cartoon girls?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

It's Still Not Exactly Bar Exam "Advice" but...

I can't believe that one year ago was the night before I took that fucking thing. Again, since I have NO idea how I passed, I don't feel like I am in any position to give advice, but since people are finding my blog by Googling things like:

"bar exam" & "want to die"

"bar exam" & "freaking out"

"fucking bar exam"

"bar exam" & "can't stop crying"

"I hate the bar exam"

I feel I should mention something. So, since I'm lazy, and someone suggested I put this post up as a sort of "Best of Grace," I'm going to re-post what I wrote one year ago today, which was the night before the bar exam for me. Here you go. And AGAIN... relax...if you're smart enough to read my blog, you're clearly a genius, and will kick the bar exam's ass.

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Dear Everyone Taking The Bar Exam,

I want to wish everyone who is reading this good luck. We've all (mostly) worked really hard to get here, and we'll all (mostly) be fine.

Personally, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I feel like everyone around me knows more than me. But then they turn around and say that they are feeling the exact same way.

I've made a decision on how I'm choosing to think about these next few days, though. I've heard from lots of people, that these are going to be the two worst days of my life. Without having actually taken the bar, I can't be sure, but I'm going to go ahead and respectfully disagree. I think I've had worse.

I've also heard that this is the hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do. Again, without having taken the bar, I am going to disagree. There is no way this can be true.

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but my parents are both alive. One day, they won't be. Dealing with that is going to be way harder than the bar exam. I've had to sit across the table from my fiance and tell him I didn't want to marry him. That was pretty tough. I'd rather take the bar than do that again. I've had to listen to someone I was in love with tell me they no longer loved me back. I'd rather take the bar 10 times than do that again. There was this guy. Bar exam wins. I've been the victim of a pretty bad crime. Sorry, but the bar exam MUST be better than that.

Don't get me wrong, the bar exam is going to SUCK. and I am going to give it the respect it deserves. However, it deserves no more respect than any other loss, grief, fear, anger,panic or heartbreak that I, or any of us, have ever already experienced. And survived. For my own sanity, this is the way I'm thinking about it.

The bar exam is just another fucking hurdle. No biggie. And Wednesday, it will all be over. So now, I'm going to quit rambling. I'm going to go do a few more hours of studying, then I'm going to pack a bag and head downtown. I'm going to meet Ms. Kori Amsterdam, we're going to check into a hotel, check out our test sites, and then go eat a nice dinner. Then we're going back to the hotel, going to watch some Will & Grace, and go to bed.

Then tomorrow morning, I'm going to go over to my testing site, and give the Illinois Bar Exam the hate fuck it so rightfully has earned. Once again good luck to everyone. See you on the other side.

Sincerely,

Grace
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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Wow!

I feel so loved! No. Seriously. I do. My blog was set to "private" for, like 5 days, and I got text messages, phone calls, facebook messages, emails, etc... my favorite one by far coming from VCUGirl where she wrote

"Oh my god. Your blog is invited readers only, now? I'm devastated. Mostly because I'm not invited...Invite me or I'll sob."

Makes me think a couple of things. First, I definitely need to get out more. Second, VCUGirl needs to get out more. :-)

Sorry for the interruption. I was just having some privacy concerns. Kind of stupid to have privacy concerns when you have a public blog, even if you write under a fake name but still. The blog is, at least partially up, for now.

I started writing on this thing almost two years ago for a very different purpose. I had intended to write about serious topics that, as a result of recent events, had been heavily weighing on me. So, I set up my account, picked my template, and set forth to write about sad and angsty stuff. Well, that's not exactly what I ended up with as any of you who have been reading for a long time, know. But nonetheless, this blog has been a really fun distraction, and I'm glad so many people enjoy it. I hope I can keep it up.

Anyway, to all the people who emailed/texted/called, thanks. That was cool. Although, it kind of makes us all huge nerds.

So here's an update:

I took a personal day today. It's been a nervewracking few weeks, and today I am decompressing. Feels alright.

I found a place to live. And I totally love it. I really thought that anyplace I would move after my condo would suck, and would be a depressing reminder of something I failed at. Nope. My new place is flippin awesome. I can't wait to move in.

My stepmom just had all of her internal "lady parts" surgically removed yesterday. In typical Step-Mama Grace fashion, she didn't tell any of us until the day before. She didn't want anyone to worry. The surgery went fine, and she's recovering well.

My dog ate a whole bag of tortilla chips, and then maliciously cursed me out for not sharing my lean cuisine with her. She's just so abusive.

Everything else is fine. For now.

PS- BARTAKERS! Relax. You will all be fine.
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Thursday, July 03, 2008

however...

In my continuing attempt to not have a nervous breakdown, I am on my way to a fun party with Ms. Lilly Valencia at a yacht club. More importantly, I am posting this entry from my cool new phone. Cool new phones are very important when being homeless.

In Case Anyone Was Worried That My Life Was Getting Too Good:

Have no fear.

Last year, I tried to buy a condo. The deal fell through because I didn't have a job. Only a job offer, and no one wanted to give me a mortgage.

Well, the company wanted to sell me the condo anyway, figuring that once I pass the bar, and start my job with the government, I'll have no trouble getting a mortgage. So we decided on a rent to own situation. A VERY pricey rent to own situation.

Then (dun. dun. dun.) The mortgage crisis hits hard. And now I can't get a mortgage. And I just got a letter that I have to be out of my beautiful home in 30 days.

As if July wasn't going to suck enough.

I don't know what to do. So far, I think I am going to pretend it's not happening until after this thing I can't talk about is over in XX days. But if anyone happens to know of any kick ass rentals, feel free to let me know.

I swear, this month is making me wish it was last year and all I had was that pesky bar exam.

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