Monday, February 09, 2009
Updates and Thanks
Wow. Just so you all know, I keep on reading over the comments from my last post. Thanks, well... to almost all of you.
First off, to the anonymous poster who said I should have told him I was a dyke, and maybe the cab driver would have left me alone:
I know you meant that to somehow hurt me, or offend me, but you didn't. You're just another one of the anonymous assclowns that bloggers just have to put up with. Since you asked though, Yes, I did, in fact, tell him that I "dated women". And then he told me the really gross and painful thing he planned to do to me (that I had to repeat in open court, which was SUPER fun), and then he assaulted me. So, I guess your theory was wrong. So, there you go. I hope you're happy. Oh, and fuck you, of course.
Second, to all the people who said they'd kick his ass/punch him in the nuts, etc... Thanks. What girl doesn't need an army of nut punchers at her side?The idea made me all warm and fuzzy. But let's just all agree that violence is not the answer. I say that mostly because I think the sleazy defense attorney reads my blog, and I don't want him to construe anything that I (or anyone else on this blog) may say as a threat.
Which brings me to another point. I am really disturbed that the sleazy defense attorney found my blog. Here's why: while a significant number of people know my real identity (I don't keep it that much of a secret) very few people, until now, know about the assault. And then there are even fewer people who know about both, and even fewer people knew who the sleazy defense attorney was. So, basically, all I can come up with is that someone in my small circle of trusted friends told Sleazy Defense Attorney about this blog. And I don't understand why they would do that.
I mean, I guess the private investigator that was hired to find out all sorts of dish on me could have uncovered it, but I just don't know how he would. Hey, if any private investigators read this blog, and want to fill me in, let me know. Then maybe I won't feel like someone in my inner circle really sucks.
Anyway, I REALLY don't want this blog to turn into some whiny, self-indulgent ranty blog, because I do enjoy having, you know, readers. So I will try not to go on and on. But, just for a little perspective, in an eight day time span, the cabdriver trial started. On the same day, I got promoted and transferred to a new assignment so I am now in a courtroom every day prosecuting criminal cases, I had to take my first days off however, to go and testify at the cabdriver trial. Then he was found not guilty. Then I had a meltdown. Then I had to go back to work, then I had to take more time off of my new assignment because I had an oral argument before the Illinois Appellate Court, which next to testifying at the cabdriver trial, was the most intimidated I had ever felt. But I did an ok job, and I am pretty sure I won. It was a busy 8 days. In those 8 days, I slept only about 5 hours total, and lost ten pounds.
Now it's Sunday. And it's really quiet. I'm in bed. My dog is asleep next to me. Everything should feel peaceful, but of course it doesn't. All I'm doing is worrying about the stupidest shit. What am I going to do if I see the cabdriver somewhere? There's no order of protection in effect, so he can just hang out wherever I am. Not like he'd want to, but since I do work in a government building, he may HAVE to. What if I run into the defense attorney? What if I run into the judge? What if I run into a juror? How can I arrange it so I only hang out in areas where you have to pass though a metal detector to be in? Why aren't there metal detectors in my gym, on the el, at my favorite brunch place. At the dog park? LIFE NEEDS MORE FUCKING METAL DETECTORS.
A lot of people keep on saying that I was brave. I totally don't understand that. There's nothing brave about me. Maybe if I were granted a do-over, then I would have been brave. Not now though. I appreciate the sentiment, though. And by the way, writing about it, also does not make me brave. At least not in this forum. Don't forget. I am not Grace. This blog is anonymous. Well, semi-anonymous. You know what I mean.
OK. I got off the point. The fucking point of this post was to thank you all for your really thoughtful comments, and to tell you that I am not dead, because I know I haven't been returning a lot of phone calls and texts. So thanks. And I am not dead. Just a little fucked up.
PS. I've decided that all posts that have to do with the cabdriver will have pictures of annoyingly fucking cute cats. So that way you will be immediately tipped off that it might not be a happy post.