Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Sigh... Public Defenders Come Up With The Neatest Stuff!


So, the other day I'm in a courtroom that I'm not usually in. Basically, it's a courtroom for defendants who fuck up the terms of their sentence. Sometimes, it's entertaining. Sometimes it's very sad.

Sometimes, it's just annoying. This is one of those days.

So, this woman comes in, who's represented by the public defender. She's brought her kid. This usually means that she thought that the judge was going to throw her in jail, and if she brings her kid, the judge won't do it. However, judges don't fall for that very often anymore. In fact, I think a lot of judges get pissed off that a defendant would use his or her kid to save their ass.

ANYWAY...so the kid is running all around the courtroom, not really being obnoxious, but definitely being a kid, touching everything etc...

So here's what happened when her case was called:

Public Defender: Judge, this is sort of an odd situation, Ms. Defendant has her child with her today, and normally she would never bring her child to court, but she HAD to bring her child to court today, because her child was thrown out of school because he was (wait for it... wait for it...) suspected of having the SWINE FLU.


Awesome. Just Awesome. I threw a fit.

8 comments:

Des Plaines River shell said...

That is comedic. That is funny like when someone farts really loud and squirty and doesn't even flinch. What did the judge do? A shrug of the shoulders and a "next case, please," or a "deputy, get that virusface out of my courtroom NOW," or did the judge maybe just tell Dirty Hippie she had a booger, laugh it off, then take a recess...

teasinglydiverse said...

:D that's hilarious!

The Artful Blogger said...

So was the kid wearing a mask while he was running around touching everything?

AND MY FREAKING WORD VERIFICATION IS: FLU-Erati

I kid you not...

rem said...

neat. now you have swine flu. let us call this the best year of your life, huh? fuck. just fuck.

ChatTeaKathy said...

That is both hysterical and pathetic, but I cannot decide which one it is more of for the life of me. Maybe they should have passed out those oh-so-highly-effective masks with huge filter holes in them. Thanks for sharing! I love reading your blog!

Harmless Error said...

So the genius defendant brings the kid to a packed courthouse full of people you realllly don't want to piss off? Nice.

EJ said...

What is next grandma in a wheelchair?

newduck said...

That's fantastic. I was in court a few weeks ago and the clerk and the deputy both brought their kids for bring-your-kids-to-work day. They both ran all over the place touching everything they could get their hands on, including my table, my pen, my microphone, my chair, my coffee cup, my water bottle, and my purse. The next day? The clerk gleefully announced that her kid just developed pink eye. Mofos.