Thursday, July 23, 2009

Dear My Darling Psycho-Out-of-Your-Minds, Want-to-Die Bartakers,

So, the bar exam is coming up. You are undoubtedly freaking the fuck out. As I have said before, I have no advice on how to pass the bar exam, as I am likely the dumbest person to have ever passed the fucking thing. A lot of people have asked me to repost this letter that I wrote from back when I took the bar exam. So, here you go. Pass it on if you want to.

Dear everyone taking the bar exam,

I want to wish everyone who is reading this good luck. We've all (mostly) worked really hard to get here, and we'll all (mostly) be fine.

Personally, I'm scared. I'm really scared. I feel like everyone around me knows more than me. But then they turn around and say that they are feeling the exact same way.

I've made a decision on how I'm choosing to think about these next few days, though. I've heard from lots of people, that these are going to be the two worst days of my life. Without having actually taken the bar, I can't be sure, but I'm going to go ahead and respectfully disagree. I think I've had worse. I've also heard that this is the hardest thing I'm ever going to have to do. Again, without having taken the bar, I am going to disagree.

There is no way this can be true. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but my parents are both alive. One day, they won't be. Dealing with that is going to be way harder than the bar exam. I've had to sit across the table from my fiance and tell him I didn't want to marry him. That was pretty tough. I'd rather take the bar than do that again. I've had to listen to someone I was in love with tell me they no longer loved me back. I'd rather take the bar 10 times than do that again. There was this guy. Bar exam wins. I've been the victim of a pretty bad crime. Sorry, but the bar exam MUST be better than that.

Don't get me wrong, the bar exam is going to SUCK. and I am going to give it the respect it deserves. However, it deserves no more respect than any other loss, grief, fear, anger,panic or heartbreak that I, or any of us, have ever already experienced. And survived. For my own sanity, this is the way I'm thinking about it. The bar exam is just another fucking hurdle. No biggie. And Wednesday, it will all be over.

So now, I'm going to quit rambling. I'm going to go do a few more hours of studying, then I'm going to pack a bag and head downtown. I'm going to meet Ms. Kori Amsterdam, we're going to check into a hotel, check out our test sites, and then go eat a nice dinner. Then we're going back to the hotel, going to watch some Will & Grace, and go to bed.

Then tomorrow morning, I'm going to go over to my testing site, and give the Illinois Bar Exam the hate fuck it so rightfully has earned.

Once again good luck to everyone. See you on the other side.




Anonymous said...

Loved it then. Still love it.

CM said...

Bar-taker here, not freaking out, but I am totally with you on the "hardest thing I've ever done" people. Really, sitting on your ass for a couple of days writing stuff about the law is the hardest thing you've ever done? Your life must be pretty easy.

You are not alone. . . said...

And to the rest of the bar takers, just go to traffic court and look at the hall rats - if they passed, you can too. . . I promise.