Saturday, August 15, 2009

Boston Globe Can Suck It But Thanks Boston Globe!

So recently I was asked by two different websites to write for them. It's sort of flattering. I have decided to definitely do one, because I'll only have to write once every other week. The other asked me to provide a sort of sampler platter of what I consider to be the best/least stupid things I've written on this blog. Like ten posts that sort of sum up what this blog is about and what I am about. Kinda strange considering they could just read my blog themselves and decide what they think, but whatever. I'll do it.

It's really kind of hard, considering I think most of what I write is crap, and only occasionally there's a funny line or something. Unfortunately, that one funny line is usually surrounded by a bunch of bad grammar, immaturity, and the word fuck. I enjoy it, but it certainly isn't what anyone would ever call GOOD writing.

So anyway, while I was on the train, I remembered that I had written a post about the phrase "Drawing a line in the sand" that I kind of liked, but I didn't remember when I had written it. So, instead of going into my archives from my Blackberry which always takes forever, I googled "Drawing a line in the sand" & "dumbest phrase ever" and it pops up along with some other links. LIKE THIS ONE

In case you don't want to click on the link, this columnist for the Boston Globe, Jan Freeman, wrote this article about the history of the phrase "drawing a line in the sand" and in it she DIRECTLY QUOTES ME, albeit to make me look like an asshat, but still! I'm quoted in the fucking Boston Globe:

Not everyone bothers to look it up, though. One blogger mocks "line in the sand" as the "dumbest phrase ever," since waves, wind, and time will surely erode such a line. "If you want to draw a line to separate the acceptable from the unacceptable, USE SOMETHING OTHER THAN SAND," she exhorts.

Yep. She's talking about me. Those are my words. And if I didn't do this totally random google search, I never would have known. So that's pretty cool. But then on the other hand, Ms. Jan Freeman, what the fuck? First of all, just because you explained the origins of the stupid expression, doesn't make it any less stupid. Second of all, if you want to quote me, credit me, even if you're quoting me to tell me I'm a lazy loser. Sorta like how I quoted you and credited you? You know, like above? But anyway, thanks for quoting me anyway!

So, anyway...I think I found about 20 posts that I am considering submitting. I am going to cut the list down to about 10. The 20 I am considering can be found here. If you're considerably bored, and feel like reading them, let me know if you have any thoughts on which ones should be added or deleted. Only if you're really really bored though.


Rolling Bone said...

That's really fucking cool that the Boston Globe quoted you! You live such an enchanted life it's insane.

Butterflyfish said...

Gotta say I agree -- fucking cool

Also, I did a terrifying post for Stolen Lines. It should go up on Wed. I'll comment and link then.

Sam Sachs said...

Um, that is awesome that people are not only asking you to write for them, but that they steal your opinions and PRINT them! I'm so jealous!!! Although, the lazy skank definitely should have credited you.

Colby said...

Yeah. I owe you a Stolen Lines, too. I'm glad to see Butterflyfish responded. I thought maybe it was me.....

Um and about you - you are fabulous and you rock and she totally sucks.

Jax said...

That's so awesome that the BG quoted you! Wow! And I do get awfully bored at work... I may read some of them. Plus, you're entertaining...more so than my job. Congrats on the column!

Anonymous said...

"... but it certainly isn't what anyone would ever call GOOD writing."

I'll say

Tessa Hope Autumn said...

Hey! Congrats on the writing gigs! That's really cool. I've not read ALL of your posts, but I'm still convinced your best one is the Victim Impact Statement. But that's just my opinion.

Working on the stolen lines. Will post next time I'm near a computer.

Have a great one!


Grace said...

Aww... Anonymous... way to really hurt my feelings. In an anonymous post on an internet blog. Ouch. I might cry.

Blazer said...

Congratulations on the quote!

My top 5 of the Best of Grace:
#1 "This Won't End Well..."
#2 "Guide to Chemically Altered Law School Experience"
#3 "How I Pee In Public Bathrooms"
#4 "My Dating History & IKEA Art"
#5 "Sunny Side Up - A Play"
(Yep, bored out of my mind!)

P.S. Anonymous - FUCK YOU!

rem said...

i'm so f-ing excited for you!!! can i brag that i've crashed on your couch when you're famous!? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Harmless Error said...

Just another reason you're my hero.

last call at the bar said...

I don't read your blog as often as I used to (downside of working by the hour versus salaried employee) but off the top of my head a few mentioned above were very good and memorable. Namely, #4 & #5 on Blazer's list, Victim Impact Statement, the Sushi on Barbri one (I know that's not the name), and all the Dog and Me dialogues.

Law Daze said...

Top Posts should include the little neighbor girl post, some of the dog dialogue, loud talker posts and there are a few other serious posts that I will go look up later. Ah - the cold day/walking nice person one. I know there are dozens more.

rem said...

the one that references me, naturally.