Sunday, December 13, 2009

Half Assed Post Just to Get Started Writing Again

"It's kind of annoying that you haven't blogged in weeks." - The Agent

Well, it's one of those times where there's so much to say that I sorta got nothing to say! But in the interest of not losing readers, I'll come up with something. Like, a list!!!!

1. I'm now almost 13 weeks pregnant. So fucking tired. Like, how can something so tiny be wreaking such havoc on my body? I have never, ever been so exhausted. And no fucking caffeine either!

2. The only thing I want to drink is diet root beer and the only thing I want to eat is plain naan. I never thought I would say this, but the smell of wine makes me nauseous. It's unnerving, quite frankly.

3. I had my first person touch my belly on Thursday. Someone almost got punched in the face. Sooo not ready for that.

4. I love/hate the show Hoarders. I feel like I am a bad person for watching it.

5. I am trying to figure out Twitter. I still don't really get it, but I am trying to do it more often. What the fuck does RT mean? If you follow me on Twitter, say something to me... or tll me how to do it.

6. We're having a hard time picking out boy names. Mostly because apparently my boyfriend WANTS our son (if it's a boy) to get the shit kicked out of him on the playground on a daily basis. I REALLY want to say what the names are, because in my opinion, they are JUST THAT BAD, but then what if it's one of my readers names, and then I've managed to hurt their feelings? Wait... since when do I care about that? OK... I will give one name that my beloved has suggested....
No. He's not kidding. Now, sorry if you or your brother/husband/son/dad is named Fritz, because it is NOT a good name. Sorry. It's just not.

7. I am still supposed to be writing an advice column for Grace the Spot. Which, of course, is hilarious, since I am by definition a total fucking disaster. But trust me, I'll make YOUR life better.

I consider myself a particular genius on
- getting out of obligations
-being passive aggressive
-reality television
-being dumb and getting through law school
-getting rid of shitty roommates
-everything else

So send me your fucking questions to

8. I am SUPER attracted to all of the people on Hoarders who have been hired to organize the Hoarders' lives. Is that wrong?

Eh... I'll come up with more later. Sorry, Agent!! I'll be better next time! XO


Amanda said...

The name Fritz always reminds me of the painfully awkward brother in Swiss Family Robinson...and I agree about Hoarders.

Molly said...

My first cat was named Fritz. She was a girl.

Sam Sachs said...

Stand your ground on this name business. Go with your gut. And ALWAYS (as a general rule for anyone reading this) make sure to check that the initials aren't something like PMS.

Legally Fabulous said...

Oh Lord. FRITZ?! Please God, NO.

As for Twitter - RT means "retweet" - if you see RT before something it means that the person is basically quoting what the person before the said.

For Example, if I tweet: "RT: @DaisyJD: I Love B so Much!"
that means that Daisy earlier tweeted that she loves B so much, and I am echoing her sentiment.

Most likely I would add my thoughts before or after the tweet...
For Example: "Awww! So cute! Newlywed bliss! RT: @DaisyJD: I love B SO much"

or I would more likely say
"Barf. Get a room. RT: @DaisyJD I love B so much!"

Daisy JD said...

Luckily for all involved my Tweets involving B typically revolve around him stealing Christmas cookies or his crazy Mom.

I've already told you how I feel about the name Fritz. And how it isn't appropriate. And how I give you permission to use my favorite boy name ever, Henry.

Fannie said...

Fritz is not okay. I object!

Anonymous said...

Sounds too similar to Fritzl, the lovely chap from Austria who fathered several children with his eldest daughter, whilst also locking them in his cellar for years.

I object

I also object that I can't read your blog during my lunch hour thanks to damned Websense!

rem said...

I feel like Fritz is a Nazi name. In fact, isn't Fritz the name of the butler in The Sound of Music who helped sell out the Von Trapps? Just sayin'.

JGN said...

A. Congrats

B. I think you mean "wreaking havoc" (wreak; to bring about: cause to happen or to occur as a consequence). Unless being pregnant is also making you smell bad.

C. Fritz = Child abuse

Anonymous said...


Overflowing Brain said...

Okay, so, I've been really crappy at following blogs and just found out, via Daisy, that you're having a baby. First, a hearty congratulations, second, a thank you for putting your foot down on Fritz. That's just not nice to do to a kid.

Congratulations again!

Chela said...

Congratulations! Before you know it your energy will come back full force and then you will go crazy trying to figure out what to do with it.

Just wait until you feel the first little will make your heart race and melt all at once.

p.s. My question is:

Did I miss something about a boyfriend? How did all this come about? Not that it's anyone's business but just curious.