"It's kind of annoying that you haven't blogged in weeks." - The Agent
Well, it's one of those times where there's so much to say that I sorta got nothing to say! But in the interest of not losing readers, I'll come up with something. Like, a list!!!!
1. I'm now almost 13 weeks pregnant. So fucking tired. Like, how can something so tiny be wreaking such havoc on my body? I have never, ever been so exhausted. And no fucking caffeine either!
2. The only thing I want to drink is diet root beer and the only thing I want to eat is plain naan. I never thought I would say this, but the smell of wine makes me nauseous. It's unnerving, quite frankly.
3. I had my first person touch my belly on Thursday. Someone almost got punched in the face. Sooo not ready for that.
4. I love/hate the show Hoarders. I feel like I am a bad person for watching it.
5. I am trying to figure out Twitter. I still don't really get it, but I am trying to do it more often. What the fuck does RT mean? If you follow me on Twitter, say something to me... or tll me how to do it.
6. We're having a hard time picking out boy names. Mostly because apparently my boyfriend WANTS our son (if it's a boy) to get the shit kicked out of him on the playground on a daily basis. I REALLY want to say what the names are, because in my opinion, they are JUST THAT BAD, but then what if it's one of my readers names, and then I've managed to hurt their feelings? Wait... since when do I care about that? OK... I will give one name that my beloved has suggested....
No. He's not kidding. Now, sorry if you or your brother/husband/son/dad is named Fritz, because it is NOT a good name. Sorry. It's just not.
7. I am still supposed to be writing an advice column for Grace the Spot. Which, of course, is hilarious, since I am by definition a total fucking disaster. But trust me, I'll make YOUR life better.
I consider myself a particular genius on
- getting out of obligations
-being passive aggressive
-being dumb and getting through law school
-getting rid of shitty roommates
So send me your fucking questions to email@example.com.
8. I am SUPER attracted to all of the people on Hoarders who have been hired to organize the Hoarders' lives. Is that wrong?
Eh... I'll come up with more later. Sorry, Agent!! I'll be better next time! XO