Sunday, January 10, 2010

Trying to Get Back in The Swing of Things...

It's fine if no one reads these posts for a little while. They are going to suck donkey dick. I don't know why it's been so hard to write! I can't even tell you how many times I've started a post. I have had a million topics, but as soon as I write my first sentence, I just shut off the computer and turn on a 30 Rock episode, which I am completely obsessed with.

But, as I've said before, I love writing this blog, and I decided that no matter what, today, Sunday, I was going to post something. Even if it takes me all day. Even it is more talk about how FUCKING HUGE MY KNOCKERS ARE!! They really are. They broke my bra. Anyway....

Hopefully, there will be an improvement in the quality of posts as I get back in the habit of writing every day, but I'm pretty sure that at the end of this post, no one will have been at all entertained. I won't either, BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO WRITE IT!

Because I feel the need to refine some of my domestic skills, I am roasting a whole chicken right now. Not even hungry. I just feel the need to remind myself that I am capable of feeding another person something other than quesadillas and jello shots. I used to cook a lot, but it's been a long time. It's one of those things that mothers are supposed to know how to do. Not like my mom knew how to cook. And actually, she was so cool I didn't really care. So I don't really know why the fuck I am making this fucking chicken. I also plan on cutting down on the use of the word fuck. Not today, though.

Today is about refining my domestic skills. And planning how I can beat my downstairs fuckstain neighbor to within an inch of his life and get away with it. Jiminy Crickets, It's going to be a busy afternoon!

So, I'm almost 17 weeks pregnant. I have had two differant ultrasounds and what's called a CVS. for those who don't know, a CVS is this genetic test that they give to make sure the baby has the right number of chromosomes. I am pleased to announce that Baby Grace has the correct number of chromosomes. I am starting to show a little bit. I think I can probably wear my regular clothes for about another 3 or 4 weeks, but then I am going to have to give in and buy pregnant lady things.

Besides that, I got nothing to report. I have something to tell about the cab driver, but I am not in the mood to go down that road tonight.

All people who have kids: I have questions. I'll be asking them. Prepare to answer them.


rem said...

here's my advice. don't buy any new furniture for at least 15 years.

Lotta said...

Hey, it's not every day I get to read something that sucks donkey dick! :D

Good luck with growing a person! And go treat yourself to a couple of comfortable bras (never mind how pretty or not they are -guys will be staring at your front side anyways), otherwise your knockers will not only be huge, but will start to hurt like hell!

LawLucywitha WineObsession said...

I agree with Rem. Don't do it. my youngest is now nearly three and I only have 4 more years to go until the schwanky leather couch is integrated.

Anonymous said...

Here's the deal on kids. Your kid is smarter, cuter, and more well behaved than any other kid on the planet. Other people's kids are stupid, ugly and total brats. Do not rub in the fact that your kid is smarter/cuter/nicer and don't remind the other people about their stupid/ugly/bratty kids and you will be OK. Oh, and so what if they want to leave home at 16 to hitchhike across the country and find themselves? They will get over it around St. Louis and you can jsut buy them a ticket home and then you get to sit around and rub it in the rest of their lives how you let them go find themselves but they gave up so their screwed up life is not your fuck-up. REally - they will survive despite all of your misguided attempts to raise them right.

Fannie said...

I love 30 Rock.

"She's not fun. She's just crazy- like grab-a-cop's gun crazy."

Patty Purviss said...

I like your blog! I also like your stolen lines project, even though I only participated once. I like my blog even though I haven't posted sine August! Now I'm revamping it to show artwork, since I have nothing of value to pratter on about! And! I have discovered exclamation points! Congratulations on your knocked-up-ness!!!

ps - the word verification for today is splam!

Law Daze said...

Hey Grace,

Congrats on the new baby life! This will be an awesome and awe-inspiring ride. Children are the best and the worst ~ you will feel, give and receive more love than you ever imagined possible. Your child will give you both more joy and more pain than anything else life has to offer. Pain because you will hurt FOR them when life hurts them (when everyone else was invited to the party, aced the exam, made the team, etc). Joy because everything that makes them happy will make you happy. You will feel more pride, more strength, and more worry than ever before and no matter what, you would not trade life as a family (you + baby = family, everyone else is just a bonus piece) for any other pleasure, accomplishment or possession.

Write as often or as rarely as you want. We all check in from time to time and are always glad to see a new post, but you don't owe your readers a thing. We just appreciate the gift of your blog, and wish you the very best.